So you’ve been through a breakup before or that really rough patch in your relationship. Who hasn’t? No one is immune to it and it happens to everybody. What have I learned through all the breakups and rough patches in my life?
To just keep it moving, because nothing and no one but you is shutting down because of it.
Am I being insensitive? Not at all. I learned to be numb to the emotions that come from breakups and know that you can in fact control those emotions. You just need to do that. The emotions sometimes cause us to encourage ourselves to suffer, making everything worse than they really are. Some people don’t give themselves as much credit as they should to know that they are in fact stronger than they think they are.
I look back at how I used to cope and sometimes just shake my head. I would let myself smoke a million cigarettes thinking that it was actually making me feel better. At work I would be so preoccupied by negative emotion that I would let my coworkers take my customers resulting in me losing commissions. Not being around people, I would sit in my car and play sad slow jams over and over again. None of that helped the situation and it only made it worse.
That’s the problem though. People can get so addicted to the sorrow and pity party rather than fighting it. They start to get addicted to wanting that attention from sadness. Letting those hard times in your life get the best of you just isn’t worth it and can be costly to not only your pocket, but your life too.
It’s all mental and it’s all a state of mind. When you find that the negative emotions start to take over, turn on the positive energy and let that take over instead. Take a step back to realize these 5 things.
Your sense of humor didn’t go anywhere
It’s powerful how good a laugh feels and how it can numb the pain. Go watch your favorite comedy movie or tv show and laugh it off. Sometimes when you just let yourself laugh, you have a moment where you’re just like “Wow I’m really ok. Why am I letting myself suffer right now?”
You’re still the responsible person you were before the breakup
Your responsibilities and your job aren’t going anywhere because you’re going through a breakup. You’re not working any less and you’re not making any less because this person isn’t in your life, so everything is okay. Just don’t let the negative emotions ruin your work performance. I at times fell victim to that and trust me, it was never a good result. As you’re busy at work, you will be shocked sometimes saying to yourself “Where did the day go? Is it over already?” That should help you come to the realization that the break-up didn’t hurt you that much.
Your friends haven’t gone anywhere
The one thing people should always make sure they maintain is their great friendships. Other than you having yourself, you will always have your friends at the end of the day. Call the funniest friend/friends you have and grab some drinks or a bite to eat. Not only will they hear you out, but they will make you laugh. Let them humor you with their storytelling. You will realize that everything is ok and that a laugh feels good.
You are still you and have not changed
You’re still the amazing, attractive, unique person you were before the breakup. Just because you’re not with that person doesn’t mean that you are now nothing. Don’t ever let the loss of a relationship turn into you feeling like you lost a piece of yourself. Someone being in your life should not make you, but accentuate you.
Lastly…You have your health and are breathing right??
Unless you do something to yourself to hurt your own life after a breakup, then you’re all good. When that person left you your air supply didn’t leave with them. Don’t suffocate yourself with the sad emotions.
When you just turn off the radio playing that sad song, turn the light on to get out of the dark, and do things that you love to do, you realize that everything is ok. The breakup didn’t kill you or change you. It just happened.
My post is to make you realize that you have to move with what life throws at you and not shut down. The life around you won’t pause. Sure no one wants to end a relationship and no one wants time spent and memories built with someone wasted, but you also can’t turn your life off when that part of it ends. If it’s meant to be where things work out again, it’ll be when you’re doing you and moving with life. Not while you’re sitting around waiting and expecting it to happen.
I know there are many survivors and fighters out there that have gone or are going through this. What type of things do you do to cope and stay positive??
Also, I’d love to hear your thoughts on my blog so far. It’s new and developing with material to come, but I’d love to know what else you’re interested in reading about.