A Sensitive Side Without Confidence

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Everyone loves a sensitive side. I mean who wouldn’t? It helps people feel the reassurance they need that there actually is some official emotion in the relationship. Now although a sensitive side is great, I recommend that you embody your own confidence first. In the same sense that people don’t like when there is beauty and no brains to go along with it, you also don’t want to have sensitivity with no confidence to go along with it.

If you’ve seen the movie Bedazzled starring Brendan Frasier, his scene playing the overly sensitive character is spot on. The girl obviously loved him. He was just too nice, emotional, and not confident enough, which drove her into the arms of a confident bad boy type.

“You are my world…You are my everything…I can’t live without you…You complete me…You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me”

These are always typical examples of some of the beautiful things you can say to your special someone. We live in a world where what many people really want is reassurance. To some people, if words like this aren’t said, they wonder if it’s real and get all worried. To other people, if these words are used too much, they get all scared and freak out. This in turn makes them run. It’s never really easy and you just have to learn when certain levels of emotion are appropriate. That’s why I’m hear for you.

The problem with these words I always ask is how much do you really mean them? Can you really not live without that person? Is someone really your everything? What happens when that part of your equation is gone? Is your life really going to be doomed?

I honestly don’t think so. You might just be saying these words to be overly dramatic. Unless someone is your complete financial support system then yes I’d kind of believe it. Be careful how much emotion your pouring out onto someone, especially early in the relationship, because it can backfire back at you.

How can it backfire? Well you want someone to feel like they are important to you, but not to the point where they feel like they’re your crutch. You show them that much weakness and you’re doomed. It gives the other person too much power. Not only does it give them power, it also might intimidate them making them feel that they are not ready for that much emotion. Sometimes you have to wait for their emotion to be up to your level before firing away.

There are people that like that much emotion, sensitivity, and reliability. I call them control freaks. If you meet someone that overly likes to be in control and likes when they are your crutch, I’d say that relationship is heading in the wrong direction and you should avoid it.

You ever look back at one of your old relationships or flings and just laugh saying “I can’t believe I said certain things?” We’ve all done it. You end up realizing that you really were ok and that emotions just took over at that time. I remember saying things like “c’mon why can’t we give it a shot? I’ve never connected with someone the way I do with you and don’t think I ever will!” I was so bent out of shape in certain scenarios back then and it was probably a turnoff. When I think about it today, the connection was so strong that I don’t even remember who I said that to these days. You see what I mean?? Overly dramatic and it’s not good.

The sweet nothings and all the emotional things that you say in a relationship are always great, but please embody the confidence that you need in your own self before having all of it with someone else. It shouldn’t take another person to create your confidence. Being confident and independent is just plain sexy. Show more of that and you will be amazed how much of an upper hand you have for yourself, for your relationships, and just for your life in general.

My advice, use these kind of words when the relationship has had some longevity, developed an established foundation, and when both of you truly mean these things mutually.

Have you ever experienced a relationship where someone just relied on you and made you feel like the world would end if you weren’t there? How did you handle it?

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