It’s the weekend with the fellas and you have some nice plans ahead of you. You’re looking good, feeling good, and you’re also hoping to get lucky with meeting someone. The scariest part about meeting someone for a lot of people is that initial interaction. You see a beautiful woman across the room and suddenly it’s nerves time. But why?? What’s the worst that can happen?? We need to turn that fear into your strength so you can break the ice.
Most people think that breaking the ice involves having something to say to catch their attention or finding a way to make them laugh. The fact is, there are different levels to breaking the ice with your actions before even talking to them too. It’s a progressive process. Follow me here…
1. Warm things up with some initial eye contact
This is what I was referring to when I said that there are actions before the initial verbal confrontation. You can literally break the ice completely communicating with some good flirty eye contact and smiles. You do this right, the conversation has already started before you even approach them.
Please keep in mind I’m not telling you to be creepy and completely stare at somebody until they look at you. This is simply to attempt to make a cold situation warm. This step can also save you from wasting your time in the event they look completely obnoxious.
All you have to do is make that initial connection with your eyes. Give her a subtle smile and see if there’s that welcoming smile right back at you. That’s what you’re looking for. We already know you’re more than welcoming, you just need to know if she is. If after the initial connection you notice that you’re both locking eyes again and again, you’re invitation has been sent.
2. Give her a simple greeting
Maybe you’ve made eye contact already and maybe you didn’t, but you can approach them with a simple “hi/hello.” Now if you’ve made eye contact already and have exchanged a few smiles, it’s a warm hello and they’ve been waiting for you.
If it’s cold, then the greeting will show you just how open they are to a random greeting with someone. My thoughts are if they are so closed off where the contact wasn’t possible and they also have a “hello” repellent on them, I’d say don’t waste your time.
3. Buy her a drink
I know this sounds old school and cheesy, but guess what? Women still love this! If a girl is waiting at the bar to order, you can simply ask “What are you drinking?” Tell her you got her drink and while waiting for the drink formally introduce yourself. Just be casual and don’t expect anything. I’ve been to a few parties where I have overheard women say to their friend “hey that guy over there just bought me a drink” all happy. It’s a gesture of kindness and no matter what the outcome, it works in your favor. If she says she can’t possibly accept a drink, simply say “you can buy me my next drink if that makes you feel better.” Now there’s an exchange going.
Does it mean they like you? No. Does it mean they think you’re cute? No. Does it mean they know you and that you now stand out? Absolutely! That’s the initial goal when trying to meet someone.
4. Flatter them with a compliment
Women love to feel good about themselves. Why shouldn’t they? They work very hard to get all dolled up, they are all unique in their own way, so they definitely deserve a compliment right? Make them smile and you will have a lasting impression on them. Flattery and a smile is a powerful thing. Do me a favor though…please be genuine about it. Women can sense when someone is being artificial right from the jump.
Say things like:
“I love your style”
“You have a beautiful smile”
“Your laugh is addicting”
5. Strike a conversation that last longer than 5 seconds
By now you should have already either traded some eye contact, introduced yourself, bought her a drink, and made her smile. I would say you’re more than welcome to try and have a nice conversation now.
You want your conversation to last long enough for her to get a feel for who you are. You also want for her to feel you are genuinely interested in her.
Ask questions like:
“So what brings you to this place tonight? Any special occasion?”
“Is this a place you come to regularly?”
“What other places do you normally go to?”
Studies show that people love to talk about themselves and not listen to you talk their ear out. These questions are examples of how she can start to open up to you. You’re also not getting too personal. Remember, be bold and brief because this is not an interview. You just met her and it’s just a way to gain more access.
Now if you’re like me and you’re at a place where there’s music and dancing, I would normally skip the small talk and ask them to dance with me. Dancing is great way to break down the barriers.
So what’s stopping you now? Go on and break the ice…
You can use these steps no matter where you are. All anyone really needs is some confidence and an action plan. Never let rejection discourage you because that is what makes you stronger.
What other icebreakers have worked for you?