One of the most important tools in life is communication. Sometimes people are natural at it and sometimes it’s something that people can be taught or coached on.
Communication needs a certain balance and patience that allows each person to fully listen to each other, absorb, and then equally contribute. Without that, it’s just an uneasy one way street of thoughts colliding…..TRAIN WRECK!! When that happens you can be sure to expect an undesired outcome.
Here’s an example of how you don’t want a conversation to go:
• Person A: “So I wanted to discuss a few things that have been bothering me lately.”
• Person B: “Umm..sure…what’s going on?” (Already in an unenthusiastic voice)
• Person A: (Already annoyed at the tone he/she hears) “Well, remember when we talked about that one issue and…”
• Person B: (Cutting him/her off) “C’mon are we going to talk about that again? What about when I…and then I…because you…” And so on and so forth.
That right there is a train getting ready to derail. Without too much detail in that example, you can see it’s the perfect example of so many conversations everyone has in this world when it comes to love, friendship, or even business. Person B was already unenthused the very second Person A brought things up. Person B did not let Person A finish expressing his/her concern at all and just started justifying something that wasn’t fully expressed yet. The hole gets deeper and deeper since the discussion didn’t even really start or continue smoothly to a nice conclusion.
You know what I’m talking about right?? Them nights where the negative energy just marinates inside of you when it could have been resolved if only the problem was discussed the right way. Now it’s straight awkward and it just builds from there.
The root of it all is to just LISTEN! That’s it simple as that. It doesn’t matter if the conversation is casual or serious, you must take every moment of communication to initially listen to all the questions and concerns someone is expressing. Not the hardest step in the world, but some people chime in prematurely without fully understanding the end goal. Something I too am guilty of at times. Just listen and you will see that things will just go smoother that way. In the end everyone will understand each other better because the more you understand, the more the conversation will make sense. The more things make sense, the more solutions and agreements take place. That’s what everyone wants right?
Most arguments or missed opportunities are triggered by a lack of communication. Do yourself and favor and take the key initial step first and that’s to always LISTEN. As you’re listening, make sure to take note of the problem first before assuming solutions.
No one can ever come up with a solution without first understanding the problem.