What’s the purpose of that first date? It’s for you to either just have a good time or more importantly,for you both to qualify each other. It’s your romantic version of a job interview in the beginning of a new opportunity and your chance to find that “clicking” moment with someone. Of course it’s a more fun version of a job interview. Please remember, you don’t want to bombard someone with such cold and programmed questions, but build them into your normal conversation with you being your natural self.
There’s only so much time you can have on a first date, so I’ve put together some great questions that I loved to ask on my first dates. These helped me understand someone and also helped me relate that person to myself. If all goes well, there will be more dates to continue the “getting to know” process.
• What really makes you smile and laugh?
• What is your biggest goal right now in your life?
• Who or what has been your biggest influence and why?
• What kind of music and movies do you like? Tell me about your favorite artists.
• Can you please tell me about your favorite place in the world?
• If there was something interesting that you would want me to know about you, what would that be?
• What are a few things that you are passionate about? Any hobbies?
• What is your favorite food?
• What things absolutely drive you crazy/pet peeves?
• What do you look for when it comes to dating? (This will help you understand their expectations and also help you with yours)
The great thing about these questions is that it will help you paint the picture of who they really are in relation to normal everyday things. It will also help them understand you with the classic “what about you?” reply and now you have yourself a good ping pong match of information.
Be observant though. If it takes them a crazy amount of struggle and time to tell you about their passion or hobbies, you might find yourself losing interest real soon. On the contrary, if they immediately get excited about explaining something that drives them, you’re in for a very interesting night where you wished time stood still.
Remember, the point is to get to know that person, and not in a too serious creepy/aggressive kind of way. Your goal is to strengthen your chances for a second date not ruin them. If you don’t do it right the first time, what if you aren’t given the chance for a do over? Jozen Cummings, creator of untiligetmarried.com, wrote a great post on second dates and said “the first date, is, well, first, that’s where our focus is, and it honestly should be. Thou shall not get ahead of themselves, is not something written in the Bible but it should be.”
Have a great first date and remember, be natural, be a great listener, and of course have fun with it.